Hoping to still move forward, huge setback

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CBT,

I agree with Fade in one aspect and that is that seeing OM still brings back a lot of feelings for me. I rarely see him so it is basically a non-issue but, that being said, when I ran into him in the grocery store a few months ago, it did bring back that rush for me and I thought about him for a couple of days. I also tell my H there is 'nothing there', but, before you get upset - there really isn't. Yes, on the rare occasion that I see him those feelings come rushing back but when I don't, he isn't even a thought in my head. So even though "no feeling whatsoever" may not be 100% true, it doesn't mean she is sitting around longing for him every day.

However, even though I got the rush, I removed myself as quickly as I could because I am NOT willing to go there again and risk my M. I have even filled in at the place I worked (where I met OM and most things took place) a few times and I know that, even if I saw him and had any feelings, I WOULD NOT act upon them. I am HAPPY with H, I love where we are and we are going and I am not willing to risk it. If I were, we wouldn't be here and (my opinion only) if your W was still willing to risk your M for OM, I don't think you would have made this much progress. Like I said, only going by my experience but it's a lot of work to put in if you really don't want to be there.

Think of it like this - in all of your years of M, were you ever attracted to someone else? Even someone you met in passing? You didn't act on it because your M was good.

If you M is good, W will not act on any feelings that may remain. People have A's when their M's are bad (except for serial cheaters who cheat no matter what and that isn't W).