Sorry you are feeling badly, as AS pointed out, we all went through this type of thing and we all came out the other side -- you will too, this too shall pass. If W does not come back you will find someone new who will probably be a better match for you and you will be loved. There is nothing final in this and you do not have any fatal flaws. Most of it is not about you at all.

When my W was in her EA, she was intimate and giving with OM in a way that she never was with me, and even after returning still will not be. She read the 5LL's with OM, so she was familiar with it. After I read it and we discussed our LL's she told me she just wasn't going to deal with mine, period. We all go through these periods where the WAS can leave us feeling low and unloved. It's not you, and you WILL feel better, I promise.

I would not suggest the 5LL's to her, or any other type of relationship work. Just give her space, the more space you give her, the better.

In terms of the rest of your post that you asked for a reaction on, you need to take a LONG term view. Focusing on the events of any one day, or the conversations you have will just tie you in knots. Nothing will be resolved quickly, and the details of any given day don't matter that much. DB, do the best you can, and you will be fine.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015