Ok, uR.....where are you? I need a 2X4. I just need a "NO TEXTING my H EVER" rule.
The kids and I decided to go out to eat last night. I asked H if he wanted to go. He said no. He was still trying to sleep before work.
I was fine with that...but before I could move away from bed, he started trying to make "moves" on me...I pulled away. Then, he wanted to know why I was being distant and didn't want "any"...luckily, one of the kids came in...and I didn't have to answer.
Kids and I got ready to leave.
H started complaining and griping about random stuff and just being a jerk. He then said something about not wanting to go eat with us. I told him that he'd already told me that....it was fine...and the kids and I were going without him.
I said that I didn’t really care if he went or not…and he said, “Obviously.”
After I left the room, he jumped out of bed...showered and told S12 to tell me to wait, that he was going. Fine. Whatever.
Talk about MOOD SWINGS. Ugh.
He is a complete jerk….pushes me away, etc. but then acts like I should be mothering him and attending to his every need. He keeps having these “poor me” pity parties. It’s starting to really irritate me.
I know the MLCer doesn’t see this…..but he has hurt me so much…and yet, wants me to feel sorry for him. It’s tough to just be nice to him.
At restaurant, H was, again, a total grouch. He started giving me orders in a really hateful tone (actually was NOT usual behavior for him....).
"Get napkins. Get ketchup. Tell waitress we need tea, etc." but in a negative, disrespectful, mean tone.
I finally looked him right in the eye and calmly said, "Do not talk to me like that. If you need something, you can ask nicely."
After that, he didn't talk to me at all. He ate, told kids goodbye and left restaurant.
Then, the texting started.
And it got UGLY again. It's like we can be nice in person, now, but let it all out texting and that isn't good!
He wanted to know why I was acting weird and why I didn't want to have sex with him earlier.
At first, I told him that I didn't want to talk about it.
He kept on bugging me so I told him that he still hadn't moved his two bags and toiletries back home and didn't want me at Thanksgiving...and that I wasn't going to keep having sex with a man who was not showing signs of wanting to continue the marriage. (BAD ANGELA!)
He texted that it shouldn’t be a surprise that he is still unhappy....that I still was "getting my hopes up" about things that are never going to change.
But, then, he told me that he was "trying to work on things"...that he was wanting to cuddle and hold me like I wanted, but that maybe we should stop having sex since I "find him so disgusting".
I don't remember the whole convo but I did tell him that I would move out and find a cheaper place to live, if that would make him happy....I shouldn't have said this because I don't want to move. He then made a comment that it’s typical of me to run off (I HAVE NEVER ran off in any form!).
Finally, we agree to stop texting for a bit and delete all old texts. About five minutes later, we found out from his mom via text that his mamaw was diagnosed yesterday with pancreatic cancer. So, we texted a bit about that (H is really upset by the news)…and I went to bed.
Just a couple of texts today about our S10’s turkey dinner at school.
I’m need to get back to the basics of DBing….and focus on no expectations!!!!
On a good note, I have my first counseling session tomorrow afternoon!!! Yay. That should help.
