Confusion Reigns Part 4

[Pudmuddle]

I agree with you Ang, that it's hard to respect them when they have done all these crazy things. What I do is try to push that aside and just be in the moment of what is happening. If H and I are discussing S, I think only of that and that outcome, not all the terrible things he has done. If I focus on his acts then I will never move forward on any other situation either.

Just think, he probably doesn't respect himself either very much, and if you can show the slightest effort towards him that you respect him, then you maybe adding to his love bucket and slowly building that back up. It takes a lot of effort when our buckets are so low, but I believe it can be done.

He may think, and I know I am putting a lot of words in his mouth here, if she can respect me with all the crappy stuff I am doing, then I can too. Build it up slowly.

I know it's so hard to believe in this when it is still so traumatic. And especially with your H being so off-the-wall crazy, change the things that you wished you had done better before, not just for him but because it is what you feel is right. Take the time to know what those are and change that about yourself. Be that person.

Don't know if this was much help...just blabbing