The Big Hill

[Pudmuddle]

Haha tiger! I actually did have that thought!

[Pudmuddle]

Journaling this morning just to track small positives I'm seeing from H, since talking to my coach.

-H acknowledged my feelings about my Dad's bday since his death
-Gave me a warm full body hug for that
-Hugged me the following morning in the same way
-When saying goodnight last night I was able to run my fingers through what is left of his hair (lol) and he didn't recoil at this
-I asked him out to go see the play my son is doing behind the scenes work for tomorrow night, and he accepted. So we kinda have a 'date'.

So it's only been a few days since talking to my coach, and all these things seem like very positive steps. It still scares me to some degree, but I do realize we are going to have to build a new relationship. So I have to treat him like someone I would want to date. I hope it's not all in vain and he doesn't have any more surprises up his sleeve. Alas, I have to remember no expectations on any behaviors I may see.

Insert quote from tiger here: (thanks el tigre!)

"I think it all goes back to the bit about "having no expectations." If we have expectations they ARE just going to keep letting us down for now, that's just the reality. "

[job]

Pudmuddle,
I'm glad to see some positive babysteps taking place. Continue as you have been and yep...no expectations.

You are doing great!

[bustingout]

Hi Pudmuddle,

thanks for posting on my thread and welcoming me to the board.

I have been following you for awhile now actually...silently..!

I am happy to read that you have had some baby steps..!

As always, no expectations....as you know ;-)

[Not Quitting]

Hi Pud, you posted on my thread about baby steps, and now I see I can return that favour. Glad to hear about the baby steps.

Keep up the good work, and remember not to scare the squirrel.

[Feenix]

Those are some very nice baby steps, girl!

You are doing a great job with this. Keep it up!

I wish SO much that I was more cool-headed like you seem to be.

I do good for a day or two and then, say something to H that I regret.

[Pudmuddle]

Thanks job! I love that you keep watching out for me.

Hi busting, I've read quite a few of your threads as well and have found inspiration in your journey.

NQ, hey friend! nice to see you over here . Sometimes that squirrel feels like a large rat with fangs.

Thanks Ang. Sometimes what keeps me cool-headed is the reminder of how much energy it takes to worry about every little freakin' thing. It hurts the head too much! It's probably the AD drugs that help too.

Keep calm and carry on!

[tigerlily78]

oooOOOooo... a date.

Bust On, Pud!

[BrightFuture]

Hey , Pud. I’ve been reading your updates all along and I’m so happy that you see some baby steps. I really hope that the trend continues… Stay strong. I laughed when you mentioned you running your fingers though what is left of H’s hair. I could picture it with my H. I hope I will have a chance to do it before it is all completely gone (or not), LOL.

[Pudmuddle]

Bright, the funny thing is, I noticed that he has lost even more hair than before! I wanted to say something but I knew it would not be accepted well...lol.

haha tiger, that made me laugh.