wife told me in May of this year the ILYBNILWY stuff, need space, yada, yada, moved out in June.
Hello and welcome to the forums! Your sitch I'm sure feels like FOREVER to you, but it's actually still fairly new. You're 5 months since S. But please understand, it can take a WAS a year or more after S before they start emerging from the fog. I get a sense from your post that you just want to call things done and move on because you're not seeing any progress, but IMO it's too soon for that. You have to show the WAS many, many months of consistent, changed behavior before they'll start to believe that you really have changed and that it's not just a trick to lure them back. The WAS's greatest fear in reconciling is that things will revert back to the way they were. They don't want THAT marriage, and neither should you. Your goal is a NEW marriage, a better marriage.
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She says she only wants me, now realizes that I am what she wants, and wants us to go slow. Heard that about half a dozen times since May so don't put much faith in it as she seems to be in that pattern.
If she is really committed to the M, then she will be willing to participate in MC. And GOOD counseling is a critical part of getting things back on track. If she doesn't want MC, then she's a WAS and what she's telling you is just lip service.
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My question is where do you draw the line and say enough is enough. You don't want to break ties with AP completly because kids play together
Is AP "affair partner"? If so then she MUST break it off with him before you can work on the M. Again, if she's not willing to break it off then she's not committed to the M and you've got to go into DB'ing mode unless and until she is ready.
