As you go through this process. You will ebb and flow with it.
You will have ups and downs within yourself, and you will feed off of the emotion of the MLCer.
Anytime that you feel a shift from within, try to take a step back and figure out WHY that shift is occurring.
At times it will be because of the changes from within, while other times it will be because of the emotion around you.
MLCers tend to run on pure emotion, and that WILL seep over onto you if you don't recognize that when it happens.
And then there will be times when you feed off of the emotion here. OPS (other people's schidt) will also feed your emotional highs and lows.
Because of the closeness that you will get to the other posters, their stuff will blend with what you are trying to do. Recognize that, and do not apply what someone else is going through, to your situation. They are eerily similar, yet not all the same.
This is all part of the process once you choose to dive into it.
Try to keep an evenness around you, let the good times propel you through the bad times.
Use your anger as a shield, and not as a sword when you interact with your spouse....
When you feel angry, try to understand WHY you feel angry. Usually when anger is involved, it is for a reason. Most of the time, if you can recognize it....
Anger is the great motivator that can propel you from one stage to the other. Not all anger is bad. It is an emotion, which has to be felt, and then processed properly, in order to put it into perspective....
Having a live-in MLC is often difficult, because we tend to think that we (the LBS) has to be perfect all of the time. I think that we have to process ALL of the emotion of living, including anger. To not go through it would be extremely unhealthy. However, it is the WAY that we express it in front of the MLCer that is the key here.
The way the we feel it, show it, smell it, and process it HAS to be with the new set of rules that you have chosen to live by...
It is NOT a show, yet it feels like it is a show....
