I hear you and I know I need to take charge I think what is hard is he has not said anything.. he just does things, takes things from the house and doesn't say.. redirecting his post.He has not ever said how he thinks we should be living or thinking or planning. I have no idea of his intentions actually. Just seems like he wants to drop out of the scene and not talk at all.. If I ask for a plan that is pursuing.. if I don't then I can not prepare myself for what is to come. and I know GAL but if we are selling the house... I can not afford the repayments alone and would need somewhere to live If we are selling then I have to get rid of my dog He has made his own bank account and is putting part of his salary there but still makes the house repayments-he earns 6 times what I do at the moment so obviously he is doing some thinking..ahead
I do think about how it would be different if he had died but then at least I would have a truth to deal with and would not be hoping the man I knew who was thoughtful and kind would be back
I don't want to have that conversation on the telephone, actually don't want that conversation at all as I know once he has said some thng he will stick to it whether he changes his mind later or not.
I don't want him to be controling my life and I am moving away but there are really big barriers to letting go.. How lo the one thought in my g does it take? I am so tired of this feeling and the one thought in my head. I try to repalce it with positives or deal with it by journalling but it does not work so well...
so when he says tomorrow that he is not coming down for the weekend and probably that he is also not here at Christmas.. how do I react ( especially as he knows that I will be alone here for 2 weeks over Christmas and New year. Any friends or colleagues I have are all going home for Christmas or away ) I know how to react- no begging or pleading do I ask about his plans for moving on or just let him disappear piece by piece.. Do I ask is he ever planning to be here to help with this house that he used to love?
I would like to have no expecatations of him but the fact is I need to have some idea of his thinking so I can plan alittle.
I guess I am just trying to sort out my thoughts. All this would be easier if I was in my own country..with family and friends.. it really is tough being so alone and needing to write on forums to get any sort of clarity in my thoughts
It has been 8 weks Is it too early to expect these things?
