The tide is high, but I'm holding on

[Takevowsserious]

[quote=AJM]One of the funny things about this journey - as things change the lbs may find themselves with all the control. Suddenly. It tends to be as much of a shock as the BD. If not more. As the balance in the relationship changes, the LBS has to change too. It's inevitable. It's disorienting. It's why, I think, Mach was talking about wanting to hurry things up and take a giant leap, when the pace is much slower. Much much slower than hoped for. And still very tenuous. The MLCr could decide that it's too much to deal with and run away. The LBS might decide it's not "real" and push them away.

It's a delicate dance.

But one thing is certain, the MLCr is looking for integrity in the LBS actions and words. They are assessing of a sort, to see what damage has been done and if they can make that walk. The LBS wants to feel that it's real and has.."expectations" that may not align with the words they have previously used. There's a lot of lag in the conversation - you aren't dealing with the same person that left.

It's not clear cut. But I think what you are being advised is to go slowly and not have expectations. Focus on you and what you want in the long term. Don't focus on the short term wants and "goals" of what it may look like for them to come back. Instead, focus on what you want to be. What you can live with, and when. Focus on what is important to you in the big picture and decide what is worth dying on the hill for.

The MLCr will move at their own pace. You cannot change that. You can influence the direction they move.

Time is what it takes. More than you'd like to be sure. But in time more will become known - if you wait for it. If you have no expectations at this time. There will be time enough later to have expectations.

You are the prize. Know that. But be still and wait. And listen far more than you express those needs. For now.

Peace,
AJ

^^^^^^^^^ awesome

Thanks AJ - I appreciate your thoughtful response.