Though it sounds like he's considerate, I agree that it sounds like he hasn't really ever put you number one, and even now he's treating you that way. He likes keeping you around, but you're not the center of things for him.
Have you ever demanded anything of him? Have you ever made him feel that something else was more important to you when he wanted to be with you? Have you ever stated in a matter-of-fact manner that something he did, or failed to do, was "disappointing"? For example, about any of the items in your earlier post about disappointments around the time you got married? Or did you keep your disappointments to yourself?
