Confusion Reigns Part 4

[tigerlily78]

That's a good point about respect Pud. I think that is kind of what I have been working at too, although I didn't think of that way until you said it.

I am trying to be a better listener too and more supportive/validating and appreciative. I think for a long time my H has felt like he was an accessory to my life, not a core element. A lot of that had to do with his own behavior/decisions/hang ups, but clearly I never wanted or meant for him to feel that way. I am sure he felt disrespected because of it, and because I was not often the sort of wife who would simply defer to his decision on anything... I at least wanted to know his thought process. He took this to be "me not trusting his judgment" while I feel like I mostly asked because I like to understand things not because I necessarily doubted or would disagree. So now I am also trying to do less of that questioning, especially around issues/decisions that are relatively unimportant. I can accept I don't have to know it all. :P