WORKING TOWARD CONNECTING WORKING ON ME

[Ambivalent]

When you say you " want to do this right" or you want to " succeed" , what does that mean to you? Getting him back is how your successes are defined?

That was about budgeting. About being able to prove to myself that I can do it. That I can not only do it well, that when I'm working full time I'll be contributing in yet another way in our marriage.

Yes, I am scared that after all the changes he may not see what I've accomplished. There is NOTHING I can do about it.

I just hope he does, and warms to the idea of trusting in me and my love. I hope he will allow me to show him in all ways what he means to me, and has always meant to me.

I can only learn from our mistakes, my mistakes, and go forward. It will hurt and I'll feel incredible pain, but I do know I'm a tough cookie. Think Oreo, crispy on the outside yet deliciously soft inside.

I know I want him and us for the right reasons, and I'm willing to humble myself. He deserves to be loved, and we deserve another chance at becoming teammates, helpmates, best friends and lovers.
So yes this is very scary to me, I want to succeed and I want us to prosper.


It is out of my hands and I pray to God daily that he shows my husband my progress and has mercy on myself. I pray that the union he blessed once will be blessed again, and no person put asunder. I pray this shows my girls what can happen and not to take anything for granted. That hopefully the divorces to which both our families have succumbed will not happen to their parents. That we break the pattern and we all heal and once again become one.

I will still hope, and continue to work on myself.
Thanks again Gabbys, I appreciate your time.