WORKING TOWARD CONNECTING WORKING ON ME

[Ambivalent]

So I just got off the phone with H.

I am going in to open an acct. He is going to have automatic deposits into this acct. He has another acct for our mortgage and bills. Another one for business expenses.

So this is the first attempt at budgeting as a team.

I am to work with a set amount for the month.

Now there is a fear here for me.

I can't say what the fear is about.

So far I've addressed so many of the issues between us.

Finances and budgeting is a big one, and I believe this is a step.

Sex, is another, but I can't force anything there.

I am trying to work with him as a team, and of course DR every opportunity I can.

I would love to have some positive come from this, but the fear of him separating everything out, gives me the willies.

Help! I am feeling SO uncomfortable. I want to do this right, and I want to succeed here.

The fact that I'm on board with this, and that I've said I want to be part of a team here...will he see this as positive, will this bring us closer? Part of me, wonders ...am I being set up? Is he planning on using this as a record for divorce settlement?

After reading all the negative stuff on other threads and that he is experimenting, I can't stop whirling thoughts.

I want to trust him. He has NEVER been sneaky with finances before. Has always been generous. Even when he'd win in poker, he'd come home and give me half his winnings.

WHY WHY WHY am I so scared about this?