Some people are saying that moving out of the home so she can move in would show weakness & that she would lose respect for me, but you could also argue that she would probably be expecting me to resist so not resisting would actually be doing a 180.
You can argue with yourself until you're blue in the face, but what's really going on is your rationalization hamster running on his wheel full speed in your mind. Based on how you've described your W's responses, she is acting very immature and entitled, and she will not see your capitulation of moving out of the house as "love" but as "weakness."
Originally Posted By: Fight4MyWife
The point is also that she might end up forcing me out in the end anyway, so resisting could cause more problems & still end up with the same result.
Except you would have stood your ground, as a man, and shown that you will not be manipulated, coerced, or guilted into changing your mind from what you think it is right. Once she figures out those tactics won't work, she'll stop using them and life will get easier for you.
Nip it in the bud now. She's being difficult and testing you. Don't fail and make things worse for you down the road. Don't play in "what if" land.
She left. Let her deal with that. If she wants to be ugly about it, let her. That doesn't affect you because you are an emotional rock who is unaffected by her childlike behavior.
Her words and actions don't affect you...got it? You are cool as a cucumber. She does not possess the ability to push your buttons anymore.
Is that clear?
Let me put this bluntly. You are worried about reconciling a relationship that is already dead. Stop doing that. Work on becoming a man only a fool would leave, and make her the fool for leaving you.
You two might have a beautiful relationship in the future, but it can't be based on her guilting you and threatening you and acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way.
Work on you. Read your rules every day until you know them by heart and can live them out confidently.
This is a very long term process. Be prepared for it and patient, ready to weather the intermittent storms that WILL come your way. Here's an abbreviated list of reminders I have kept in my wallet for a long time:
Be an honorable man.
Be respectful.
Be true to yourself.
Be bold.
Be a leader.
Patiently endurance.
Quiet confidence. Strength.
NEVER lose your cool.
Actions >>>>>> words.
It is never the wrong time to do the right thing.
A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - MLK Jr.
Endure well. Expect this to take a while and expect the coming emotional storms. The better prepared you are, the better chance you have at reacting in a manner that coalesces with your long term goals.
Endure well!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
