Asking for what you want...how does that equate to control? Asking means just that, asking. The person you are asking is able to decide whether they want to honor your request or not.
Expecting compliance is control.
labug... I can't even begin to thank you. I feel like someone just smacked me in the head.
I guess i've always expected that when i ask for something that it will be done, and that i have an expectation for it to be done.
Example: When i asked my W if she would please not stay out all night.
Expectation was that she would comply, and that I was mad when she didn't.
I totally see how this can be "control" just because I asked, doesn't mean she is required to comply. She makes her own choices, as I make mine.
ST4K,
I have thought about doing the same thing as you, I have even done small things that 'I believe' will make her see a change, or make her feel happier. But they don't.
I put on this huge romantic dinner , candles, a movie etc. Anyone woman in their right mind would have been blown away. Sure she was appreciative at the time, but a few days later she mentioned that it really had no effect on her at all, and was only being polite.
THEY DON'T CARE.
They don't want anything from you, or to hear how much you want them, or how much you love them.
They already know these things, and these attempts are futile.
