I'm back -- lost of progress

[mishka422]

First, I'm so sorry you are facing all of this at what should be nothing but a joyous time.

Second, just because someone else has managed to put their R back together after a similar situation doesn't mean that you will have the same results even following the same patterns. Every R is totally different with different outcomes. Don't compare your R to anyone else.

Third, you need to decide exactly how far you are willing to allow yourself to go with this. Like G said, you are a family no matter what the status of the M is. You are in no way responsible for your H's actions and decisions. You can only control your own boundaries.

Set up a timeline for yourself. Give yourself a set amount of time to reach specific goals and stick to it. Make sure that you inform your H of your requirements to keep working on the M. Yes, continue MC if you feel it's productive and opening your dialogue. He needs IC though. If he's not getting IC, why not? He has issues that he needs to address on his own.

Lastly, if he is being emotionally and verbally abusive to you or the kids then he is NOT a man worthy of your love and support no matter how apologetic he is.

Hugs to you.