You know, PM, I do the same things with people. I talk to friends of mine (and a family member or two) that are struggling and try to show them the realities of some of the decisions they may be contemplating. I also encourage folks to take a good look at themselves and embrace the somewhat liberating power of saying "I was wrong and I can/will do better". I tell them to listen to even the smallest of complaints from a spouse...especially if it is repeated. Because, as you noted, you don't want to be me. If folks can stay together and learn from my pain at least it was worth something. I honestly wouldn't even wish this upon someone I dislike.
