Melissa - I do believe that my H has done work on himself during this time. Things started to change at the end of September for both of us. I finally picked myself off the floor and really started DBing.
H also stared IC in September. Prior to IC, H was only discussing our situation with his mom and the OW (I am pretty sure he was not getting great advice from her). I am hopeful that he has made some progress with his IC. He says that he likes going which is a start.
H's case involving his DUI was also finalized. He finally had to face the consequences which he had been putting off for a while. As a result, his social life has been affected because he does not have the freedom. The issues with his prior job were also finally resolved in September. Everything that we had been stressed about (minus the A) was finally over.
Beginning in October, H started to spend quality time with the kids. H started interacting with our baby (who he pretty much ignored since he was born). H started helping around the house. It was as if he finally realized that there were other people besides himself. H wants to spend time as a family (this coming from a man that worked every single day, including weekends, during my 12 week maternity leave to avoid having to spend time with us).
When I look at him know, it is hard for me to even remember all the crap that he pulled the last two years.
I have hope that if he has made these changes with respect to the himself, the kids and the family, there is still a chance that his stance on me will change. I know that it could take a really long time (if ever) because he has a ton of anger and resentment built up, but I am willing to give him space and time.
