One giant leap forward! - Part 9

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T,

My heart hurts for you that W chose to put you through this again. I know you hadn't made a final decision on trying again but you were considering it and that is enough to make this painful all over again.

She said that was 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing. She said I mentioned that I was the happiest I had been in months.

She is just blaming you so she has an excuse to be with OM. I did the same thing, I justified texting and seeing OM by "H did this" "H did that" "I can never win with him" etc... It was always H's fault that I did what I did. It's so much easier to blame someone else so you can do what you want and feel justified.

As far as her mentioning, once again, that you said 'you were the happiest you've been in a long time', I don't think it is because it bugged her as much as because she can use it to make this your fault that she just had to go back to OM and couldn't wait for you to make a decision. That's only my opinion based on what I read here.

"He accepts me for who I am"

AKA: I can stay who I am and not have to change a thing

She said things like OM2 won't make her jump through hoops and that I would.
I didn't acknowledge it to her but she is right.

Again because it is easier to stay the same and she knows you have grown. If she wanted to put your M back together, she would be willing to jump through hoops to show you how sorry she was for all she has done and that she was willing to do whatever she had to do to put it back together. She isn't, at least not now. She wants the "easy" way out.

I'm still way too angry about it all to just slide back into it. My main thoughts this week was about forgiving her and I'm not there or anywhere near.

I understand. I do hope you get to forgiving her before too long. She doesn't need to know you forgive her, forgive her in your heart (when you can) because that is for you, your health and your mental health.

So sorry, T. Although Bug nailed it:

That's OK, you've grown a lot, she barely at all.

You can decide if it's the end, you don't have to wait on her.

This is difficult T, but you've got this.

and one last thing....

W: Can you bring me some more of that glue again. The kids wooden bridge didn't last!

Seriously?? What is she smoking?! I know this may seem inconsequential but it really made me shake my head in disbelief at her nerve. The day after she pulls this cr*p she texts and asks for glue? I admire you for not replying, I probably would have told her to ask OM for some or go buy it herself.

You really have grown a lot since I came here T, you should be very proud of yourself and your little ones are lucky to have you.