OK. Only because you asked so nicely Pud. I will have to admit that I believe I am selfish and self centered. My parents never had a life to themselves, it was all about me. I like things that I like. I like having my stuff and if someone else gets something, I feel like I'm entitled to it. I've never really said it with words, but my actions have shown it. I believe I need to work on being more giving of my stuff, my time, and my emotional energy.
I think I have a hard time creating lasting relationships with people in my personal and professional life because I only value their relationship if there is something for me to gain. I have always said that I could pick up and leave to move somewhere tomorrow and it would be no big deal. I feel like an island. My family was like that as I lived around no family. I look back at some of the greatest friends I've had at different phases of my life and those relationships have essentially been discarded as I've moved through life. I know part of that is natural progression of our life journey, but I can go without ever speaking to them again.
I am incredibly needy for validation and love from another person. I have dated very few women. Every relationship I had was long. I generally wasn't without a GF for very long. I desire the love and desire of a woman to validate me. My mother talks about me constantly when in groups. I know that she loves me because of the way she talks about me. She has never been one to say ILY or give hugs or affection. I understand why I feel the need for all if that.
Sorry. Think I may have spilled too much for now. Mach's post from earlier today has me really searching.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
