My marriage has been on the rocks for the past 15 months. We've been separated on and off throughout that time (he's moved in and out at least 20 times). Our current separation has been in effect since May. We didn't speak at all for the first 3 months but things have been thawing and improving since then. My H is now showing some affection, looks forward to spending time with me, stays over a few nights per week, etc.
My H continues to improve in some of the areas that frustrated me to no end in the past. He's more helpful here at the house, pitching in with dishes and helping with our baby. He's also good about contributing financially when he used to just let me pay for everything. Overall he's far more reliable than he was even two months ago.
Right now I find that the battle remains to be me against myself. Little triggers make my stomach turn in wondering if he's still seeing someone else. Other triggers just remind me of things from the past 15 months that make me want to quit with no other reason than to forget this all happened.
Things are going so well so I try to focus on all the things that are going right and not on the things that make me sad. I'm also far busier now that I've returned to work after having our son so I have actually very little time to stress or dwell on our relationship.
I'm still frustrated that limbo has become the new normal for us. I'm really starting to feel like we are a married couple again but that we live in two different houses. At the same time, things feel 'fine' so I'm in no rush to push for him to move back. My H seems pretty content to not live here (mostly for the shorter commute from his place and the chance to get a good nights sleep when I'm up with the baby at my house). I just don't see an end to him enjoying having his own place.
If anyone has advice for turning off 'triggers' that remind you about the past, I'm all ears.
Also, Confluences - how are you holding up? I hope you have something fun planned for yourself for Thanksgiving. Its time to make some new traditions/memories for yourself so that you can have a great day w/ or w/o your W.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
