Still Have Hope.....

[Tinman]

Well after so much success in getting my W back last time after 9 months she is gone again and this time have little hope….

We got back together last year after being separated for 4 months. It happened pretty quick. One day she contacted me and I suggested that we get together for one last night. To my surprise she took me up on my offer and at the end of the night / morning I walked her to her door, I gave her a hug and she whispered in my ear “it’s not over”.

That was one of happiest days of my life, for sure. Within a month we bought a new house and moved our family back in together. Life was great or so I thought. I took to heart the issues we had before and really focused on making them right. I completely changed my relationship with her boys, was more aware of financial issues and tried to keep her out of the drama of my custody battle. I did back slide in some areas for sure. I gained most of the weight I had lost back which I think was a huge issue for her.

At the end of the year we went to court and got full custody of my oldest and a new court date was set for future for custody of my youngest (long story). Her oldest son was doing great. He had a job, grades in school were great, had his first girlfriend and we bought him a new car. Then in March it all started to go wrong. Within a two month time frame we found pot under the seat of his car, he got fired from his job, found out his girlfriend had been in and out of mental hospital, he wrecked his brand new car by running a stop light, found out that not only was he smoking pot but he was also selling pot and last he ended up in the mental hospital because he was cutting and talking about killing himself.

Needless to say this really took it’s toll on us. I was right by her side and supported everything she wanted to do. After her son got out of the hospital she did not want anything to do with him and did not see him for a few months because he was blaming her for everything and telling everyone she was abusive to him. That really hurt her as she is such a good mother.

During this time she was growing distant from me and I found out that she was texting a guy from high school. She was on Facebook constantly and this one guy she was texting over 1200 text per month and I confronted her about it. It would not have bothered me so much but I was getting so little from her. If I got a text of two during the day it was a good day but sometimes she said she did not have time. Then to find out that she was caring on with this other guy so much really hurt. She said it was nothing and he was like her life coach. She stopped texting him but was really upset with me about it.
Then the summer came and she started hanging out with her friends again and growing even more distant from me. There were times that she would come home at 2 am and pretty drunk. It did not happen a lot but during the worst week it happen three days in a row and I said something to her about it.
At that point she again told me she was not happy and that she felt like nothing changed. I went through her issues and point out how different things were. She agreed with some things but in the end she said “I deserve to be with someone I am attacked to” That hurt me like nothing else she could have said.

So she went to stay at her friend’s house for a week and during that week I had another financial bomb from my first ex-wife that I was in the custody battle with. Needless to say that was the final straw for my W. I was due to go back to court in September for custody of my youngest and my W could not deal with that either.

Within a month she had moved out. I tried to work things out with her but she said she was done and given the financial issue now pending I encouraged her to move on with the divorce so she did not get caught up in it.
We have had very little contact since she left. Most of it has been positive but there are times that I have lost it. She kept posting on Facebook how much she has been through and how she just woke up one day and decided she was going to change things. Then she posted “There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and forget about the bad.
It was about that time I also found out that she started dating…. I ended up deleting her from Facebook for my own sanity.

So now that the divorce is final and I too am dating again I still know I love her and that I want our relationship to start again. So I am back here for any helpful suggestions.
Thanks for reading all of this!