On the brink...

[NTX_Dad]

Jon -

I've been thinking of you off and on today and about what you said you are feeling.

I think your feelings are even more evidence that you should really take your time and work on you and learn about yourself. It sounds like now that the "pursuit" appears to be over, your feelings have taken a 180. When you couldn't have her, most of the time you were hurt and angry. When she gave you good signs, you relaxed.

I think I mentioned it before, but at one time I felt like it was a game for you and that more than nothing else, you wanted to "win". And maybe I was right... now that you won you are feeling "now what?".

Or it could be you are having some doubt about her feelings and whether or not you are her second choice. I know I had that feeling off and on for about the first six months of piecing.

Or are you feeling the same way about the marriage that you did before the sitch? And if so, maybe it's those feelings and attitudes towards the marriage that got you here...?

I think you should consider IC in addition to MC to help you sort out your feelings, and if you decide you really do love her, the MC will help you get back on track and help you learn to forgive, and for both of you to love each other.

Just be sure that you stay with her for the right reason - that you love her, otherwise you both will be hurt worse the next time there's a sitch.