The Dance

[JFun51]

After reading Mach's post over on T2's thread, I am prepared to go deeper than ever. I am uncovering reasons that I am the way I am. More importantly, I am understanding how to work through these issues. Things my parents did to shape me, events that have changed me, etc.

As we talk about MLCers revisiting and closing doors, that is our job as well.

[Truegritter]

Good for you J.

That's the tough work.

Rip the weeds out at the roots.

Now

To find the weeds...

[Whiterose]

Good for you jfun........you'll be so happy you did once you make it through to the other side. Go easy with the W....she's working through her stuff and will go back and forth and you need to be careful not to get sucked in each time.

I'm rooting for ya!!!!

[uRworthy]

As we talk about MLCers revisiting and closing doors, that is our job as well.

Abso-freakin-lutely ^^^^, J. Which is one of the reasons why I asked you why you were condescending and wasnt satisfied with your, thats just the way I am, answer. Just sayin.....

Hiya True.

[Mach1]

After reading Mach's post over on T2's thread, I am prepared to go deeper than ever. I am uncovering reasons that I am the way I am. More importantly, I am understanding how to work through these issues. Things my parents did to shape me, events that have changed me, etc.

Well, I will say that weeding THAT garden should keep you so busy, that you won't have time to worry about what SHE is doing, or not doing....

As we talk about MLCers revisiting and closing doors, that is our job as well.

Absolutely.....

Cepts that you get to do that, without all of the confusion that goes on inside the MLC cranium...

I thanked God daily that I was an LBS instead....

[JFun51]

BTW, this community is a heck of a lot friendlier than spending thousands of dollars on counseling services. Thanks to all!

[JFun51]

I know I'm going to open up a can of worms here, but I know that some of my deep down issues come from my status as an ONLY CHILD. I know this and have to work on myself. I am currently making the list of weeds.

I will now brace for the backlash from only child haters...

[uRworthy]

Hey, J, gotta watch out for those expectations.....ya know?

My son is an only child. I think it is important not to generalize or feed into stereotypes, dont you?

He is the most selfless, compassionate, kindest, most humble human being I have ever known.

Thats not to say that you being an only child may have contributed to some of your stuff. So dig in there.....

Just have to remember that you dont want to blame anyone for who you are today. That just doesnt serve you well. Gotta own it before you can change it.

[Pudmuddle]

So I'm curious, WHAT about being an only child do you think contributed to your deep down issues? Is that really the issue or is it something much deeper? My guess is the latter.

I could attribute some of my deep issues to being a middle child. and, the only girl. But I realized quite awhile ago, that I had handled our growing up issues MUCH differently than either of my brothers did. I actually had better coping skills than either of them. So go figure...It's all how you handle it and address it going forward.

[JFun51]

OK. Only because you asked so nicely Pud. I will have to admit that I believe I am selfish and self centered. My parents never had a life to themselves, it was all about me. I like things that I like. I like having my stuff and if someone else gets something, I feel like I'm entitled to it. I've never really said it with words, but my actions have shown it. I believe I need to work on being more giving of my stuff, my time, and my emotional energy.

I think I have a hard time creating lasting relationships with people in my personal and professional life because I only value their relationship if there is something for me to gain. I have always said that I could pick up and leave to move somewhere tomorrow and it would be no big deal. I feel like an island. My family was like that as I lived around no family. I look back at some of the greatest friends I've had at different phases of my life and those relationships have essentially been discarded as I've moved through life. I know part of that is natural progression of our life journey, but I can go without ever speaking to them again.

I am incredibly needy for validation and love from another person. I have dated very few women. Every relationship I had was long. I generally wasn't without a GF for very long. I desire the love and desire of a woman to validate me. My mother talks about me constantly when in groups. I know that she loves me because of the way she talks about me. She has never been one to say ILY or give hugs or affection. I understand why I feel the need for all if that.

Sorry. Think I may have spilled too much for now. Mach's post from earlier today has me really searching.