Yes, I know. I had planned on making 180s before BD, but I know I would not have been as successful or come as far without going through the hell of being a LBH. For crying out loud, I have lost 40% of my starting weight this year! I dress better, I groom myself better, I've found a church I go to weekly, I meditate, I'm a major volunteer at a non-profit, I read more... So many profound changes. It just sort of seems hollow without her.
I've tried to lovingly detach, and I think I've done okay.. But it is definitely something I could be better at. I don't dwell and obsess over her, but it has the feeling of just trying to cover things up or ignore them instead of reaching true detachment.
I'll be glad when we're out of the holidays and on the other side of Valentine's Day.
