Hanging on to the roller coaster

[tigerlily78]

During our chat I need to cover finances, access and the paternity of this child. Would it be too much pressure to talk about his increasingly erratic and irresponsible behaviour or should I just leave him to it?

I think you will have to be really in control of your tone if you are going to bring this into the conversation. I know from my own experience that my H perceives almost anything "critical" or even a neutral observation that makes HIM think of things he is doing wrong as an "attack." You will have to be really careful to frame it. Maybe put the emphasis on, "I feel like we need to figure out our financial situation and put it in writing. Your unpredictable behavior lately has me a little worried about whether I can rely on you in the future to meet these commitments. I am still in a place right now where I am trying to be patient and let you do what you need to do, but in the meantime I need to do what I have to protect our children/house/assets/ life we built together.