Back....again.

[TrentC]

I feel like we are just in a lull.

Not from what you've been describing the past few months. People in a "lull" don't threaten divorce and don't stay out all night.

How do you get out of it?

Time, and a commitment to work together to make it better.

I want him to be excited about me.

You can't make him interested in you; all you can do is try to be interesting. Understand the difference?

Maybe I'm thinking too much. I get nervous when it's a night we are both home cause I don't want him to feel "bored" with me. But 10 years in I hope this is a normal feeling....

It can be; it's very easy to settle into a rut. The last time I talked to a DB coach, she said that the number one complaint that most couples have is that their lives together become uninteresting. People don't get married with the idea that their lives together are going to be endless nights of watching TV; they want to have a partner to enjoy life with.

That doesn't meant your lives have to be seat-of-the-pants adventure; something as simple as a weekly "date night" would be a good start. Make a commitment to going out and spending time together as a couple.

MWD talks about solution-focused therapy as being the basis of DB: If something isn't working in your relationship, try something new, and if something was working in your relationship, what changed?

Your H's story seems to change as time goes on. What does he say he is unhappy or dissatisfied with in your R?