Don't call or text to see where he is and when home - check
Dont wait up - check
Don't ask about it in morning- check
Don't ask about ring- FAIL
Don't dwell on images of what he was doing last night - FAIL
Well, 3 out of 5 ain't bad. It takes a little while to catch yourself every time, but you will get there. I would add that you should not ask your H where he is going, and then when he goes, do not call, text, etc. Be gone or asleep or otherwise busy when he gets home.
You figured out that asking about the ring was a bad idea. So now you know to drop that. You are still probably in the stage where you should read the 37 rules at least once a day if not more, until they are ingrained in your head.
Do NOT imagine what H was doing last night, or any day, or any night. This is what gets me, too. It is one of the worst things you do to yourself. It keeps you stuck, and it drives you crazy. And you are almost certainly wrong. I spent the week after H moved out imagining that he was feeling all awesome in his new apartment and having a great time and going out and life was grand. Until he told me that he had pretty much just gone to work and the gym, done a lot of crossword puzzles, and done a lot of journaling (!!).
I'm not saying that you will always be wrong, or that your H probably went to church while he was gone, but it doesn't matter. There is NO POINT in torturing yourself like that. Focus on you, and what YOU did when he was gone. If what you did was sit around imagining what he did, how does that make you feel about yourself? Did it help you?
Hang in there, you are doing a good job, just keep reading and posting!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
It takes a little while to catch yourself every time, but you will get there. I would add that you should not ask your H where he is going, and then when he goes, do not call, text, etc. Be gone or asleep or otherwise busy when he gets home.
