I described myself to W way back in April (long before BD) as Alone.
I had resented W for not making an effort to try to go to social functions with my friends.
Sour and unfriendly? All of the above. Plus stresses of job, running kids around, keeping schedules, maintaining a household, paying bills when money is tight, etc.
Sour angry disposition resulted from me letting all those things dictate to me and disrupt my life. I let these things define my mood and my own well being.
My guess is that you are scratching the surface here. Take each one of these items and dig deeper.
As I worked thru this same process, it took me WAY back. It wasn't a function of what had happened to me over 5 years....it was a question of how I had been shaped over the course of my lifetime, the choices I made along the way, assumptions I took for truth.
