So I caught up with your other thread and WOW! there is no doubt, you like to control things.

Let your W do what she needs to do through this, you can still love her but you have a lot of work to do before she will believe that you have fundamentally changed. Ad, as usual, gave you some very good advice.

My concern is everything you do sounds tactical, directed at your W to get her to change by seeing you differently. Not that you are different but you want to seem that you are.

Even tho she said nothing for 11 years it doesn't mean it wasn't an issue. My guess would be that she did say things, but you brushed them off as not important. Dig deep in your memory, anything there?

I'd like to see your thread focus more on you and less on your W.

Goals, GAL???

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss