Hi, sad days of regret will come, and fortunately they also go. Please do not apologise for feeling low. We have lived through one of the hardest things life can throw at us, emotionally, and recovery is difficult. We are not supposed to post links, but there is a superb article in the NYTimes available on line from October 5 of this yer, called Great Betrayals, and why the betrayed feels worse and suffers more than the betrayer.
AA, you don't know me, but I will be making the move here shortly.
Your C hit it on the head. This is a decision for you, congrats.
It is also that "last tie" and you are cutting it. It is okay to feel like this, many feel exactly this way when they get the D papers, feelings of sadness, anger, despair.
The trick is to recognize them for what they are, let them flow through and let them go. We tend to hang on to emotions, but all of them, even happiness are short lived, even more so when they are externally validated.
So you make your own happiness and remember just sit awhile (mentally) with these feelings. It's okay.
Couldn't stop crying at the slightest thing, and it just got worse... I was doing some packing and came across my memory box. Letters from ex, poems and cards. Cards from my Grandma and knick-knacks from good times. At least I got it all out!!
I think a kindly neighbour started it - she met me coming out of the house and said "if you want to call in for tea and a chat anytime, do. I know what its like to be alone". Getting bad when the old folk feel sorry for you.
However I have also learnt a lesson from the same neighbours dog. We often meet when out walking. She has a cavalier king Charles dog she rescued several years back. It is sooooo timid and scared of other people, but not of my 150lb dog. This week though it taught me that patience pays. For the first time it approached me, sat and allowed me to feed it treats. So if you wait patiently long enough, without pushing, you can see positive results. There is hope yet.
All Alone, I thought it was a lovely gesture that you neighbor offered up a spot of tea and a safe place to chat. She wanted you to know that she was there for you if you needed her. It's not so much that she felt sorry for you, but she was offering a gesture of friendship.
Absolutely! If you sit quietly, wait patiently, things begin to happen in their own time, as well as info being dropped in your lap. You can't push the universe to provide answers...they come when you least expect them.
When you are feeling better, why not take your neighbor up on her offer for that spot of tea? I think it would do both of you a world of good.
I hope you feel better soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Bea, Thank you so much for the article referral - it was v. good.
I accept that these things get better. If I think back to a year ago I have moved on so much. I think what surprises me is that that raw emotion can spring back into action just when you least expect, or want, it.
I guess its like the article mentions - we are told to just "move on" and expect that will be the cure all. I think that I now have to accept that this may/will take much longer to come to terms with and have to allow myself these "bad days" and hope they become less and less frequent.
