I know how difficult it is to lose someone so close. At the same time I am grieving though, I think of the awesome times we had together and the memories which made us family. I find I can smile through the tears that way. Missing someone is testament to how much we lived them.
I can also relate to the surprise that you felt when you encounter the reality if the broken empathy chip. While my parent's life was coming to an end, I did not hear from my xSO once for the whole week and a half prior. Not to see how she was and not to check on me. Those actions are what make me pause before responding to him.
And if you have to flip him off when he is not looking, go for it! Truthfully I have lectured my xSO in my head more times than I can count in all kinds of colourful language. Made me feel better even if I did scare the cat.
