Don't know what to think

[T-boned]

Oh Cadet, thanks for the splash of water in the face.

Truth of the matter is I find it hard to have it be about me - have never been comfortable having it about me. It's that whole 'I am not worthy' cr_p.. I just finished Brene Brown's book, "Daring Greatly" and she addresses that topic quite a bit. Great book! I have also been reading "Women Who Love Too Much' by Robin Norwood - a classic - however, I never wanted to change my man. I loved him the way he was. But I found out a lot about how and why I make certain choices or my feelings of unworthiness. I even picked up a few tidbits that explained my H behavior prior to all this. Reviewers of WWLTM said the book could really apply to both men and women. Highly recommend both. Still have lots more reading to do in regards to self improvement/self awareness, being present in the moment, living a whole-hearted life. Mindfulness..

Anyway, I feel as though I am being proactive in taking responsibility for my life. This is not a road I wanted or chose to go down, but I may as well look for the beauty and joy along the way. Did I really say that? Now if I can live it....

I've already fought for my life dealing with cancer - - a battle that will never really end. That road did not seem like it would have any beauty or joy but I sure found some of both along the way - real surprises.

I know I have the strength to face this new challenge. I just feel like I need to deal with this latest development and be quiet with it for a while.

Can you 'drop the rope' and still DB?