Hi all. I'm new here.

[2ndTimeHurt]

""I don't quite understand how you correlated my comment of her phone to my past anger issues. "

Because you are typing your story, you left out alot of details and so I can only go based on what you wrote. You typed... "During the relationship it pissed me off that she was always on her phone." and "Can somebody tell me not to ask about her damn phone. "

Just from reading that, it seemed like your anger issues resurfaced. You never explained that it was your "RAGE" issues that you supposedly corrected. You actually never mentioned rage issues before.

Anger is anger. It's how you deal with it that's important. Women have long memories. She'll say that she sees you changed but nonetheless it could have been the thing that planted a seed of doubt in her mind.

You can't keep posting here and get defensive when you haven't detailed your whole story.

Gotcha. It's hard to tell the whole story. There's just so much of it.

Anyway, when I say pisssed. I mean pissed inside. I'm not showing anger but instead I'm realizing the feelings come over me so I take deep breaths and relax. Nevertheless I am pissed.

Maybe I need to explain further. Everybody gets angry, some more than others. I still get angry, it's a normal feeling. Rage on the other hand seems like it's only normal in a life or death situation. I obviously had to get my rage under control and it's my bad that I used the word anger instead of rage. I just didnt think there was such a thing as rage management. Anyway, my W was emotionally and physically abused in the past. Me being the way that I was just pushed her over the edge. I just want to make clear that I went into rage mode about 4-5 times during our 4.5 years together. Regardless, that's still too many to go into rage. I think still might have to make myself clear. My rage wasn't throwing stuff or calling her rude names. It was just a huge build up of emotion escalated from horrible communicating and frustration. It doesn't make me feel any better, I just want to paint a real picture of how I was. I wasn't over the top crazy but I also had a piss poor way of dealing with frustration.

Also I'm not trying to sound defensive. I'm just trying my best to tell my story as it was.

So ya, I was a douche, she wasn't perfect either, she had enough and left, I looked at myself and tried my best to become a better person, I'm aware it's a lifelong process.

About me saying I wanted someone to tell me to stop asking about her damn phone... I knew I was wrong I just wanted some reassurance that I was in fact wrong. You know, motivation. Kinda like, "hey idiot, stop asking about her phone. You know she's gonna get upset. No good is gonna come from it!"

It really feels like we are not on the same page regarding these posts. From my point of view, it feels like I'm being attacked and you think I'm being defensive when I'm actually trying to tell my story as best as I can. I hope I'm wrong though.