Wife says she wants to leave

[Accuray]

Since she has moved out, do i stop doing her laundry?

Absolutely! If you wash even one more of her socks I will be angry! She's a big girl, she can do her own laundry.

Do i completely stop doing things for her? For example, i was in the middle of re-modeling the downstairs, and most of it was her designs and plans. Do I continue? Do I change it?

If it were me, I would put it on hold unless it's in a state where you can't live with it, in which case I would do the minimum to get it into a liveable state. I would not do anything "for" her right now. She wants her space, give it to her. No favors, no gifts, no acts of service.

Going back to the laundry. If I decide to stop doing it, should she be "allowed" (I dont like this term) to come to our home and do it herself even though she is not currently living there?

That's up to you. Most people feel better if they get some space from a cheating spouse, which is to say the less you see them, the better you will feel. Secondly, as you know, they can do a job on your mental state, so you often need some prep time before you deal with them so you don't slide into R talks or other non-DB behavior. Therefore, it's usually a good idea to protect yourself and establish some boundaries around surprise visits.

You are now living separate. You don't expect to just walk into her apartment and cook yourself dinner anytime you want, so she should not expect to just stop in and do laundry whenever she wants. I think you should establish a schedule of when you will see each other related to D, and at those times you will expect her. Outside of that, if she wants to come over, she should call first. If she doesn't respect that, then change the locks.

If her new place doesn't have a laundry, she should find a laundromat or send her laundry out to be done. If there are times when you are not home and you don't care if she uses the machines, then set some times when the machines are available and outside of that they are not.

I don't want to be harsh, but at the same time I don't want to make this separation easy on her. She chose to go, does she live with all consequences?

This isn't about punishing or enforcing consequences, its about protecting yourself emotionally and giving her the space she wants. Your prior marriage is over. It's done. The entitlements that went with it are also done. If they fire you at work, you don't keep showing up because it's become routine, your job there is over.