Two score and eight months ago...there was a Rebel soldier who crashed through a Union...
You guys are too funny! And yes, Bea, the "dialogue" is so strange and stranger. And since I can't make fun of it with him, I get to report it here! Rosa (welcome back!), isn't that the joke about the British - understatement is the only way to say things? Hope you came up with some good ones while you were there. My favourite is still the "I am not abandoning you, I am changing the relationship." It wasn't too funny then, but I have to smile now. Because not only do they have themselves convinced, they seem (for a time) to convince us they are right.
Like the GF wanting us to be friends. Logically, I have to agree that she would not want me around, but likely wanted to meet me for her own reasons. He was likely dreaming of a happy threesome. He may be still. But that is my line. If he is still with GF, contact between us will be over. I do wonder though if they are over, or she is on her way out.
Pud, thank you for your thoughts. It has been a hard year, but I am still breathing. Sometimes I think we don't know what a hard time we have keeping afloat until someone says: wow, you have a lot going on. And you realize that you only told them half. True story!
Rosa, I am trying not to make a decision now about whether or not I could forgive him or what it would take if he showed any hint of wanting to reconcile. At this moment, I feel like I would need quite a bit but maybe, in the end, it will come more naturally.
One of the reasons that I don't want to make a fuss so early in the game is that I don't want to make it impossible for him to feel he can reconnect. But beyond this very fragile truce we seem to have right now, there really is nothing to indicate that he is making any steps that would help me to trust him again. Because I do not trust him now. For whatever reason or reasons, I got caught in the middle of something and got used and abused. He'll need to understand that I need time to heal or I may not heal at all to ever be friends or more.
Bright, I am not the only one going through challenging times with family. I know you are, too. When you describe your struggles, you could be writing for me. All of the little things stopped, the small things. That was my first clue that something was wrong. Not BD wrong (never predicted that one!) but something was off. No compliments, missed phone calls, things like that.
Another was the use of my gas points card. He never had one but always gave the attendant my number so I could earn award points. After BD, especially after it got serious with GF, he never used it, so I had no points from him during that time. I just got my statement today. And for the first time in months and months, he has taken to giving my number again, there it was in black and white, two whole points on two different days. Who knew gas points could be a clue?
And an update: Today was his birthday. I sent him a birthday text that basically said Happy Birthday and don't talk to someone unless they wish you HBD first. Got a response right away that said thanks and loved the message. And, asked me if I was OK and said he was up for talking whenever I had time/was ready. A long while later, I replied with I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to avoid the gum. Asked him if he was going out celebrating (yes, I am being nosy!) and said he could try calling whenever.
No response yet, but that is OK. I really can only handle this in bite-sized chunks anyway!
Being here feels strange. I really was ready to move on and had accepted that he was out of my life. Now, he wants back in it but I am not sure. I am going very slowly because now it is me that is not sure what I want. How strange is that? If he had called and texted like this at the beginning of this year, I would have been over the moon. Now, I am grounded.
