Thanks for the clarification about the 180. My wife admitted that our marriage was comfortable before the affair. But she had these complaints:
1)We didn't have enough fun, both just the two of us, and with the family 2) I didn't take enough initiative to plan fun things with her and/or the kids. 3) I'm too lenient with the kids (ie with homework, staying up late, playing too much videogames/computer time)
For #3, I have made changes. I've been making the kids go to bed earlier, limit their videogame/computer time, monitor their homework, even made a chores list they have to do to earn their allowance.
For #1 & #2 - I am a bit confused because I've always spent more time with the kids. I take them camping 3-4 times per year. I take them to the beach at least once a month. I'm the Wolf den leader for one of my son's Cub scout pack, weekly mtgs for that. And my wife very rarely participated in all those things. Usually on Saturday we would go out to eat as a family for dinner. And I have continued to do things with the kids and even as a family on weekends.
So I think my wife wanted bigger fun things like family vacations (which we haven't done in a while). And alone time for just her and I. I actually complained about this to her after she started her new real estate job. Since the affair is still ongoing and things are bad between us, it seems kind of weird to try and 180 the issues for #1 & #2. So not sure how to 180 this issue. Any advice is appreciated.
