Moved Back from Overseas to Figure This Out...

[S4tk]

Since she returned from her trip 3 days ago, things have been calm. We have joked together, she thoroughly briefed me on her trip - without me asking or initiating.

She falls asleep in the early evening (8-9pm). She blames the jet lag, but sleep has been an issue for her for months, even before BD.

Anyhow, I am still worried that since one of my marital defects was emotional disconnection, detaching and pulling away (even lovingly) might be misconstrued. I have considered telling her something like the following, during some well-timed moment of connection:

"W, I respect that you feel done, and that you are unhappy. I am focused on working on things I want to improve in my life, and on giving you time and space to live your life right now without pressure. One of the things you have shared with me is the emotional disconnect and that we didn't do a good job of truly connecting. I understand how you feel that way, and have been reflecting on it myself. Because I don't want you to feel controlled or pressured or manipulated, I feel that giving you space is important. But I want you to know that if and when you are willing, I am willing to spend time with you - having fun, talking about life, getting to know each other again."

And then I thought to suggest to her that whenever she feels willing to engage, she could message me a :P emoticon or some code word or something.

This would make me feeling better about GALing and lovingly detaching and 180ing since she will not miscontrue any of that as more of the same. It also seems like it would empower her.

Just as a reminder, she has said much of the classic WAW script, but 4 months after BD she is still living with us and we have both avoided R talks for about 2 months. Also, to my knowledge there is no real A going on.

I'm on the fence with this idea. Thumbs up? Thumbs down?