Seems like your recent positive progress with W is very similar to the turning point I had. Keep at it and hopefully it will continue to improve for you. Just live it day by day and see where it leads. Its very hard to not get caught up in the moment when things are going well. Just continue to remind yourself these are baby steps that may lead to something greater in the future. Be that new better man you have become every day. Either way you and your sons will benefit from it in the end.
separated since 9/01/13 M-31 W-36 D-4 Move back home 12/26/13 3 months of tough times Finally in a happy M
JF, sounds like you had a great weekend with a 'nice' W, I'm glad it was a low-drama weekend.
You sound so positive and absorb everything like a sponge. It's fabulous that you are willing to do the work on yourself.
It's hard not to feel overly positive when things feel so normal, I get that everyday, lol. My H is still stuck in replay fog, but tries to keep things nice and normal at home. I hope he someday, can have the fortitude to work on himself like you are doing. It's a tremendous thing you are doing for yourself.
Keep on keepin' on!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Just made family plans for this coming weekend. Just got offered tickets to another college football game Saturday. Texted W and ask if she'd like to go this time. Her response : "Sure!" Looks like all 4 of us will be enjoying football this weekend. I can't wait.
Enjoying the moment.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
That is freakin' awesome that she said Sure! What a good feeling for you and how nice to have the family all together having fun. I'm sure you'll keep us up to date on what happens!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Ok guys, confession time. I feel myself slipping over the last couple days. W's friendliness is making me way too comfortable. Must continue to be diligent and expect nothing. I have to remind myself this is just a phase in her growth just like the other nasty parts have been. I've found myself initiating too much conversation and not being "mysterious" enough. Reminding myself to work harder today.
Developments: W was very interested in football on TV again. She also asked if I would be home in time for her to go out to eat with a female friend from HS she hasn't seen in years. I think she's trying to find herself. She told me the girls name and all just to try and prove its legit. I came to bed early last night while she was still watching tv and she politely went downstairs to finish watching her program. I was really surprised when I picked up my phone from downstairs this morning and she had not been snooping on it. She talked really nice to me this morning before I left as well. Asked me if I would go ahead and wake S12 up. She even said "please." That never happens.
Weird week. One week ago was the worst spew and venom in months, followed by polite and happy lady.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Take it slow, JF. I know it is so difficult not to get succked into the 'normalcy' of it all. You long for things to be good again, I totally get that. But you've done good to recognize that you are slipping, so you will get back on track.
I am so glad to hear she is treating you nicely right now. Keep treating her with the same respect and decency you have been. And remember she is still hurting deep inside and she has not resolved her issues just by her one venomous attack. It is weird. I had some weirdness to last night and this morning.
Keep on a'postin' here when you feel yourself backsliding. You're doing great.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I described myself to W way back in April (long before BD) as Alone.
I had resented W for not making an effort to try to go to social functions with my friends.
Sour and unfriendly? All of the above. Plus stresses of job, running kids around, keeping schedules, maintaining a household, paying bills when money is tight, etc.
Sour angry disposition resulted from me letting all those things dictate to me and disrupt my life. I let these things define my mood and my own well being.
My guess is that you are scratching the surface here. Take each one of these items and dig deeper.
As I worked thru this same process, it took me WAY back. It wasn't a function of what had happened to me over 5 years....it was a question of how I had been shaped over the course of my lifetime, the choices I made along the way, assumptions I took for truth.
