Very wise to take that step back before reacting and questioning her motives. (That is a skill I am far from mastering). What are the chances you would have gotten a satisfactory response? Emotions run high at the holidays. Then when you throw kids into the mix. .. she may even be a bit muddled about her motives. Good luck!
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15