sayitaintso: Thank you for checking on me! My weekend was alright.
tigerlily78:
Yep, my H is like that, too. Exploding at silly stuff...then trying to make it my fault. One of his favorite lines, AFTER he gets all mad about something, is "Well, I'm not going to fight with you," when I'm not trying to cause a fight either. So frustrating.
I have been so busy the past several days that I didn't get on here at all. I'm sure I've missed lots in all of your sitches so I'll have to catch up later.
UPDATE:
It's been more of the same around here. Maybe some of you vets can verify this...if this is what "detaching" really is...but I'm feeling more and more distanced from H.
I think I've reached a point where I am finally detaching and just feel like whatever H does just doesn't affect me the same anymore. I guess that's what this is. The past week or so, I've felt that way.
I'm not ALWAYS detached...I still have my weak moments (see below)...but overall, I think of H less and less...and feel lighter...happier with just working on me and focusing on my kids.
I’m less bothered about trying to decide if he’s lying or not when he tells me stuff (I just pretty much assume that he is….but I don’t get upset about it like I was.)
On a funny note, I went to my school's playoff game Saturday evening. I dressed up, did my hair, put on perfume, etc. Even put on my cute new “under garments”, etc. H was home and awake so he noticed all this.
During the game, he kept texting to ask how it was going, etc. After game, he was pretty nosey…wanting to know if I was coming straight home, where I was going, who I was with, etc. He was joking that I’m too “old” to want to party, etc. I just found it extremely funny that because HE is up to no good, he assumes that I am, too.
He was off Saturday night so we had a really good day Saturday and first part of Sunday. Just hung out with the kids, joked around, etc.
However, Sunday afternoon, while he was at his friend’s house watching football, he texted and pretty much told me that he doesn’t want me going to Thanksgiving at his family’s with him and the kids….that it will cause too much “drama.” And, I got pretty mad and hurt.
First of all, I have stayed on friendly terms with ALL of this family. I have had NO drama with any of them. Remember, H just started talking to his mom and family again, but they have all promised that none of that will come up at Thanksgiving…they just want to get together and have fun and relax.
They have said that they want me there….and H isn’t brave (or stupid) enough to show up there with another woman…so it isn’t that.
H never would tell me why he “really” doesn’t want me there…and he finally said that I could take the kids and go but he’d stay at home. Well, that defeats the whole purpose of him making amends with his family…so I’m not going to do that, either!!! I guess if he still feels this way next week, I’ll just stay home and let him take the kids.
It hurts and makes me SO MAD that he’ll act like we’re doing better and getting along, but then, doesn’t want me to do anything with him as a “family”.
We ended the day on good terms and have had a couple of nice texts today. So, I’m back to working on detaching some more…
I still feel really torn some days. I sometimes wonder why I’m doing this to myself. I’m tired. Just tired and weary of dealing with H’s crap.
I try to keep reminding myself that I believe in my vows…for better or WORSE…and that I have to have hope….and I have to keep my children’s best interests at heart…..but this “sticking it out” stuff is hard.
Oh, and I got my STD results last week….I’m all clear….so that is a HUGE relief. At least I didn’t catch something nasty from H and his “maybe, maybe not” affair. Lol. 'Cause there would have been HELL to pay if he'd given me something!
My weekend was alright.
