How to convince resistant LD wife?

[melissag]

If she truly doesn't like sex, or doesn't want to have any, why are you still around?

Because my wife means a lot more to me than just sex! I know that might be a shocking statement coming from a man!

But my wife's clear understanding, by this time, that I like her for far more than just sex -- well, that still hasn't made her one bit more interested in sex.

That's not shocking at all. Of course she means more to you than just sex. But the question becomes whether you are willing to forgo the sex for the rest of it. You are desperately trying to change her so you can add a third option here. But there seem to be only two. Stay in the M and forgo sex, for some undetermined period of time, which may end up being forever; or leave. It's a s.h.i.t.t.y situation, to be sure. But you can't do anything about what SHE does. All you can do is figure out which is the better option for you. It may well be that leaving will jerk her into action . . . maybe. But maybe not. You would have to be prepared for that if you went that route.

It's almost like my S7 when he really wants something, and it's not an option. He doesn't choose between the remaining options, he just gets stuck wanting the one that isn't an option. And I tell him, you have to stop focusing on the one that isn't an option, because it's stopping you from moving forward. You need to look at the actual options and choose between them.

I am in the same boat, kind of. I don't get to choose whether my H comes back to me or we end up getting D. That's out of my hands. I can (and have) spent a lot of time bemoaning the fact that my life is this way, but it doesn't do me any good. It is what it is and I have to live the life that I have. I can't control him so I can only look at what I am doing, and control what I do. Same goes for you. You have tried everything, and you cannot change your W. So you need to decide what you are going to do.