Wife says she wants to leave

[Accuray]

What is the victory, if not having her return to the marriage?

"Victory" is ending up in a relationship that you can relax in and feel happy and fulfilled, and deliver happiness and fulfillment to your partner, without anxiety or having to look over your shoulder, wondering who she's texting or who she's going out with. Feeling that your marriage is happy and affair proof. If she "returned to the marriage" tomorrow but continued to go out 4 nights a week without you, that is not the marriage you'd have, and therefore not a victory.

If questions do arise, how do i express that i'm not interested in our old marriage, but a new beginning?

Well, I don't know what kind of questions would arise. You establish this more with how you act than what you say. Talk is cheap. In short, you stop any type of pursuing behavior, you "drop the rope" and let her do what she will seemingly without worry, and you become a spouse only a fool would leave, a happy, fun person to be around.

I'm slowly getting the the point where i feel like i'm the "prize to be won", having worked my butt off doing 180's that i'm really happy about. But I just don't feel like i'm quite there yet.

You will get there. When they leave it hurts, and we equate their return with an end to the hurt, so we fixate on them and make them better than they are. Get some perspective, you are the better half of this equation right now. Act like it.

Do your thing. Get your Mojo back. If she wants to get back into your circle, she's really going to have to earn it. You'll be nice, you'll be friendly, but you are NOT her backstop, or her parachute, or her insurance policy. She should cry on someone else's shoulder, you are too busy having fun.

Acc