I had an Affair and Wife now wants Divorce

[MrBond]

"I'll do whatever I can do and need to do and be as patient as I have to be (not my strong suit, but I'm working on it)."

This is your ego talking. You say you don't have the patience. Well I guess your family and relationship to your W and SD means anything to you.

"I didn't realize how much the relationship meant to her or how important it was to her. "

Seriously? You didn't think she cared that much about you MARRIAGE to her which is why you cheated on her? TWICE? You both went to counseling which is more than others get around here and you cheated again!. Get some b@lls and start taking responsibility for what you did. Stop blaming her.

And before you argue that you're not, go back and read your post. It's very telling. You were being selfish and still are.

This is where you are failing. It doesn't matter how much the relationship means to your W. It matters how much it means to you.

" She will not talk to me anymore and hasn't since August. Since W told her about the A, step-d has said that I am no better than step-d's first husband '

And how does that make you feel? Proud? Be honest here.