Blinded by the lights

[LJC]

Evening all

I hope you are all well, I don't mean to be a stranger I keep a close eye on many of your Sitch's but in the background. In a few of your threads I don't think I'm able to comment or offer anything new and gleen what advice I think is relevant to my Sitch.

I've been thinking about something that happened yesterday after I took the kids back to W. Again, because of a heavy night out my W asked if I had any bread and milk she could have because 'she couldn't be bothered' to go out. Thinking of my kids packed lunch etc for school of course I said yes. When I took kids back I had to goto W front door because D10 couldn't manage she said I could 'come in' which I did and she offered me money which I refused because of the petty amount.

What happened while I was there has been bothering me tho and I've been thinking of different reasons why. Every year while I was with W we spent Xmas day with MIL/FIL, last year because of BD I was left out because of the rawness of the whole Sitch. I have been dreading this year as it's the season of good will etc etc but out of the blue my W asked if I fancied spending Xmas at MIL's!! Now I didn't give her a straight Yes or No, not because I didn't want to seem eager but I'm not sure what my parents are doing and wanted to discuss it with them but they are in Florida at the moment on Holiday.

Internally I was quite chuffed because after all the advice from DR and you guys my lack of Mentioning about the R has made my W feel 'more at ease around me' but then I got thinking has she done this for her benefit? Last year I spent an hour or so with my kids on Xmas day and I did mention in an earlier written email that this year I'd like to have the kids for the whole day which she replied with 'we're see nearer the time'.

My question is has she thought theirs no way she can go without the kids for the whole of Xmas day and it'll be easier (even if I have to spend it with him!) if I ask him for Xmas dinner etc OR am I mind reading and complicating things and I should really see this as a positive step?

This has been driving me crazy so I'd like some great 3rd party advice!

Thanks