Shutting the F*ck Up

[RosaLinda]

Holy macaronis Portia. I have just been trying to catch up on my friends' threads, and yours and Jayes have honestly made my head spin. I feel so so sorry for you, but then read "He said "just think daily of the absence of dialogue between us, wanted to see if it could be moved in the other direction." Seriously. The absence of dialogue. On a positive note, at least he has noticed!" and you made me laugh out loud as always. Geez these MLCers and their understatements. It reminded me of my H asking me if I had "noticed" that he had not loved me and had been looking for romance elsewhere for the past 4 years

I'm glad you made up with your dad. Most of my H's family is like that - always screaming at each other and then forgetting about it ten minutes later. Except for H, oh how that man can hold on to a grudge!

I'm voting with Bright on your SO's motivation here. I doubt that his GF, is she still exists, wants to be your friend. She might want to meet you, to suspiciously get a gander at her BF's FEMALE best friend, but to be a happy threesome, I doubt it. His perceived arrogance might be due to anxiety over how you would respond to his call. But time will tell, if you take the time to sit quietly as prescribed by Job.

Thanks for writing this, Bea "One thing I have learned is that are not able to be contrite - that comes, if at all , a very long way down the line. I think they know they have screwed up royally, but they are so fragile that fully acknowledging the extent of the hurt they have caused is just beyond them."

There has been a LOT of talk around the MLC forum about demanding/requiring forgiveness as a condition to reconciliation. And I know that even though he is still lost in the replay tunnel, my H is already sort of sorry for the pain he is causing me. But seems to me to think that his presence in our home when he would rather be gallivanting around Moscow is enough to make up for the pain. He was not a good apologizer pre-BD, and so I really don't expect much in the way of apologies if he ever escapes. But I like the way you put it, that they are "so fragile" that acknowledging the extent of the hurt is beyond them. Maybe your SO was like this too, Portia?

PS I love the title of your thread Portia! I have adopted it for my DB byline. "It does not matter, so STFU!"