Thanks MrBond for all your insight. Right now, it feels impossible to me that the marriage can be saved or this can be "fixed" at all. I appreciate reading your email that it may not be impossible. I'll do whatever I can do and need to do and be as patient as I have to be (not my strong suit, but I'm working on it).
I didn't realize how much the relationship meant to her or how important it was to her. the last 2 and 1/2 years, I was self absorbed with anger and bitterness that I held inside and didn't deal with effectively.
Haven't begged and pleaded since the day she told me she wanted a divorce (which was 9/7). When she mentioned the divorce again on 10/19, we talked matter-of-factly and there was no begging. Still no word on the divorce from her since 10/19.
Step-D is 28. She will not talk to me anymore and hasn't since August. Since W told her about the A, step-d has said that I am no better than step-d's first husband (who left her for another woman 2 1/2 years ago after they were married for less than 2 years). Neither myself or W have had any contact with step-d's XH. We did talk to him for a few weeks after he first left, but he made it clear he no longer loved step-d and was moving on.
W only had contact with her XH while step-d was growing up. but it wasn't much contact at all. There were child support issues, visitation issues, etc...with XH. W always was reluctant to have any type of confrontation with him.
