Unfortunately a lot of times, when the S needs to separate from you he or she feels the need to separate from the kids as well. It is a very common move especially with the WAH.
I have two theories here: 1) that the kids are part and parcel of you and the marriage, so they distance themselves from that as well. Just so you don't get any ideas about having a happy family, he is done, remember? And often that includes being a father, at least for a while. 2) that some WAS cannot deal with any emotional connection other than the one they have forged with OW ( she is new and understands him like you, most obviously, don't you know, never did.) and himself. The connection at this point feels very very real and powerful (affair fog), but doesn't last once the everyday intrudes.
GAL, like lovethehub said. Space and time for your H.
180 your reactions and actions.
I pretended I was a single mom. That way I let go of the expectations I would have for H as father..
