How to convince resistant LD wife?

[melissag]

It's just my viewpoint as an HD person, I realize, but it's hard for me to see how a person who "wants" sex just once a week could be enjoying it all. I mean, if it really was enjoyable, wouldn't you want it more often? What makes one not think of sex on days 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, and then, suddenly, one wants sex real bad on day 7?!! What changed from day 6 to day 7? Doesn't make sense to me.

Your first sentence was correct. You have an opinion. And you have to accept that your W has a different opinion. I mean, I really like baseball. I would go to all 81 home games my team plays if I could. But I don't think it's weird that someone else might want to go to a game on Friday night but not Saturday and Sunday too. It's just different.

Now, I am merely saying that you need to accept your W's viewpoint and acknowledge that for her, it is just as valid as your viewpoint is to you. I am in no way saying that you should have to live with the consequences of her viewpoint.

If she truly doesn't like sex, or doesn't want to have any, why are you still around? I mean, it seems to me you have to weigh whether it is worth it to stay and go without, or if you are better off leaving the marriage. But it sure doesn't sound like she is going to change her mind anytime soon.

It's kind of like a couple who gets married thinking someday they will have kids. But then one of them decides that nah, maybe he/she doesn't really want to have kids. Well . . . if there is no way to talk the resistant one into having kids, then the other one has two choices. Stay and likely not have kids, or leave and hope to find someone else who wants kids. I know two couples who have divorced over this issue. It's obviously not what anyone wants, and it is sad, but if there is a fundamental difference between two spouses and it is causing misery for one, what other options are there?

So has your W actually said that she just has no interest in sex, and will never do it? Or is she not meeting your needs in this area because she feels that her needs in the M aren't being met?