...I simply did not accept that sex was important to him to maintain our connection - I thought of it as just wanting to get off, being self-indulgent, etc. Every time he complained of not enough sex, I felt more and more like that's all I was good for; like he didn't value me for other reasons.
So let me ask you what is hard for me to understand about women. If you really felt that your man's only interest in sex was just to get off, and NOT for reasons of emotional ties, then why wouldn't you let him have a girlfriend? Because you could then be sure that the only reason for the girlfriend is to get off, right? He wouldn't have any ties to her otherwise, right? So why would that bother you? Wouldn't you be happier for your husband that he is having sex with someone at least, even if it's not you? Or are you happier that he's not having sex with anybody at all? See, that's the thing that bugs HD men who are shut off by their wives. To them it appears that their wives are just hateful in the sense that it appears that they would rather that their husbands not have sex with anyone at all, like it's a special form of torture, sanction by society in the form of prohibitions against extramarital sex. And then of course, a husband who pressures his wife in any way to have sex is an oaf.
If as a young man who was constantly sneaking looks at centerfold magazines, and thinking that when I got married, I'd always have a real woman to share sex with, if I had been told that actually, there's good chance that once you got married and had kids, your wife would prohibit you from all sex -- well, if I had known that as a young man, I think my attitude would have been, "I wouldn't touch marriage with a ten-foot pole!"
Surely women know some of this. They must know how much fun sex is to many young men. Do these women really think that men completely lose interest by middle age, and become fuddy-duddy doddering old men with total ED who would fall asleep at the sight of a magazine centerfold or strip-club show? What did you expect your husband to do? Go solo with a centerfold magazine in the bathroom? Just what did you think your husbands were doing when you weren't having sex with him? I just find this cluelessness on the part of women to be stunning. Not to mention the selfishness that he can't have a girlfriend either, even when you have no intention of having any sex yourself with the same man. In what other situation in life have you ever demanded of another person that they be completely without sex indefinitely for your comfort and lack of interest in dealing with a situation?
